Asking for HELP! Finding balance in your life.

OK ladies if you life is anything like mine it’s crazy busy with kids from changing diapers and dealing with naps to packing lunches and doing homework. We shuffle from school to home to a different school back to home then off to activities. Then back home to get dinner cooked get everyone fed and then tackle the bedtime and bath routine. It makes me tired just reading this. Now once everyone is asleep I can spend some time doing what I want to do. This momentum can only go on for so long before burnout sets in.

So I’m going to let you in on a BIG SECRET… you need to ASK FOR HELP! I know it sounds so simple yet, we don’t do it. We have these crazy thoughts that we have to have it together and don’t need to inconvenience someone. Well here’s a news flash there are people around you who would LOVE to lend a helping hand. The thing of it is they don’t know you need help because you look so together and haven’t asked.   What if you and a friend or neighbor made a deal to watch each others kids for an hour or so once a week so you could go to the grocery store by yourself or go workout or anything. I’m sure we would all jump at that chance for sanity while grocery shopping. We often don’t ask our parents or family for help because we don’t want to burden them or feel like we need them. And though you may not need them it sure is nice for the extra help and support when they are here.

I have learned to call on friends and family to help pick my kids up from school or activities and realized they are so happy to help. I am also so happy to help my friends anyway I can to make life a little easier. So don’t feel like you have to do it all by yourself. Go ahead and ask if they say yes that’s great and what a blessing and if they can’t and have to say no that’s ok too. At least they are being honest and you don’t have to feel like you’re imposing.

I have also found that I need to ask my husband for help. So often he just assumes I have it together and don’t need anything from him.  I may look like we have it under control but on the inside I feel like I am unraveling from both ends. He has no idea this is how I feel until I blow up.  What I have learned, is to ask him to help and give him a specific thing I would like his help with.  I feel better knowing I have help and he feels good about taking some pressure off of me.

Another thing you may need to do is invest in a sitter. Sometimes it is just easier to pay someone to give you the time you need to recharge and take care of yourself. Or go on a date with your husband so you can both connect and recharge. You have to look out for yourself which is a change since you are normally looking out for everyone else and that includes asking for help. I hope this will inspire you to reach out and know you are not alone and to see how many people are willing to lend a hand.

Love and Light,

Valerie

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