You are WORTHY!!! Believe it!

Today I wanted to post about feeling valued and worthy. I feel like there is so much emphasis on outside appearances. I personally know this was very important to my mother growing up.  There were high expectations that we didn’t leave the house without looking our best. She always said you only get one chance to make a first impression.  That maybe true but your still just looking at the outside of the package. The funny part about that is we can make our self look anyway we want on the outside but it may be so far off from what we are feeling on the inside.  The outside doesn’t validate the inside.

A perfect example of this is social media. We can take a 100 pictures to get just the right one and then edit it so it looks perfect. This is a snapshot of what we want others to think of our life. It may be spot on the way your life is but not for me.  I can tell you when I post a pic especially of my kids if they are all looking at the camera and its a decent or even good picture there was probably blood, sweat and tears involved along with a little bribery. But to someone looking in from the outside it looks like I have it all together like this perfect little family. That is not my everyday life. First of all I’m usually in workout clothes and love not to have to put on makeup everyday. My kids are amazing but when you have 4 small people with big personalities there tends to be a bit of a tug of war for attention and to prove who’s boss or who’s right.  I can make it look good on the outside or in posts as if this side never exists. Though that’s not real for me and if I’m being honest it’s hard to  try to look perfect all the time and who is it really serving? Certainly, not me. The truth is, life is sometimes hard, hectic and messy. That is what I want the world to know. That is a side I also want to share because it’s real life.  I don’t have it all together but I’m trying and doing the best I can. I have learned some great tools for dealing with the craziness and sharing these tools in a real way is what helps others in the same or similar boat as me. I’ve learned  being real is what really helps other moms.

I love being a mom but I can say I have never felt more judgment in my life since becoming one. I can’t tell you how many times we have been in public, at a party or even a family event and someone is crying or fighting or out of their chair at the dinner table and my first thought would be what is everyone thinking of me. Thoughts like, she is a terrible mom, or she has no control over her kids or she has more kids than she can handle. Then I would believe these thoughts and let my value and worthiness be dependent on what I thought a stranger (or sometimes someone close to me) was thinking. How crazy is that?

Now this is not the kind of behavior I would like to see from my kids but my first thought now is “why is this triggering me” instead of “what do they think of me”? This provides so much insight in to my thought process and allows me to respond instead of react to their behavior. This allows me to shift my energy to a more calming and supportive roll instead of matching their energy at an explosive level which almost always ends with yelling and crying and both sides feeling really bad.

Another example of this popped up when I was talking with some other moms, some who work and some who don’t, I noticed how critical we were on ourselves regarding how much we do or don’t do for our children.  We all have this guilt at some point.  But it really made me think about how much we do do for our children and we need to focus more on what we do and how we show up and not judge ourselves  and our worthiness for missing a class party or field trip. That doesn’t make us bad moms and unworthy of love.  It means we are humans and we deserve to be loved and appreciated regardless of the fact that we are at a few things or everything for our kids.  At my Simple Bliss Retreat I recently hosted there was a beautiful mom there who told us she would have to leave an hour or so early to go to her daughters gymnastics meet.  When I realized it was past the time for this lady to leave and she was still there I ran up to her and asked if she needed to leave.  She looked at me and smiled and said I’m not leaving.  I have been to every meet and every activity she has ever done in her life. I realized I would be leaving this wonderful peaceful environment to race through 2 hours of traffic to watch her perform for 5 minutes.   She said I can feel my heart racing just thinking about it. Her dad and sister are there to watch and will send me the video. I’m taking the rest of this afternoon for me.  She said I always put myself last on the totem pole and today I’m taking care of me.  I was blown away by this.  She shifted her worth and belief in herself and made herself a priority.  This is something I am guilty of not doing as I’m sure a lot of moms are.  But it is so necessary to take time and look within and know you are worth it.

So let this sink in… your worthiness and value is not dependent on what you do or what someone else thinks.

YOU ARE WORTHY JUST FOR SHOWING UP TODAY, AS IS!

You are worthy because God made you just the way you are quirks and all. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of your behavior or that of your children’s. Now I know I have room for improvement in all areas of my life and believe me it is something I work on daily and will be working on til the day I die. I also believe it’s my job to teach my children to behave and be respectful but not because that’s what other people think I should do. They should do it because it’s the right thing to do to be kind and considerate of others.

I think it’s important to know where you want to go in life but to also appreciate where you are now. Don’t allow someone outside of you (even a friend, spouse or family member) to determine if you are worthy. Start with knowing your worth then watch and see how others will begin to notice your amazing value. Your worth is yours forever because of who you are, a child of the most amazing God, creator of the universe. You can’t ever lose it or give it away. You are worthy.

Say it with me “I AM WORTH IT!!!

Here is a verse that reminds me of my worthiness.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it well.”

Psalm 139:14